SEX SELLS BECAUSE GENDER MATTERS…advertising analysis by Grace

Nowadays, advertisers carefully select the people they use for their commercials and most of the time, gender usually plays a role in communicating certain ideas to different audiences. When trying to appeal to male audience, usually a sexy female is used in the commercial for example T-Mobile commercial use a “sexy lady” to advertise a phone coverage plan. The lady is wearing all black with her hair being blown by a fan. This makes me think what does being sexy have to do with phone plan? Once again, if the men are switching to t-mobile, they will most likely be getting their women to switch.
Another way that advertisers are using sex appeal to see their products is in one of the Trojan ecstasy condom commercial. A man is surrounded by a lot of extremely happy women rejoicing about the fact that the condom “feels like there is nothing there”. Another way of looking at this is that condoms are advertised as if it is only meant for men. It is amazing how the women are in the background in the commercial basically accepting the fact that the man would be the one to wear the condom. As far as I have been able to discover, there has not been a single commercial about female condoms. Another commercial that baffles me is the GMC car commercial. GMC……. may the best car win. Although there were no people in the commercial, a male voice advertised the entire time and I got the feeling that the advertisers were only appealing to men (i.e. why aim a car commercial toward women when it is the man that buys the car anyway- stereotypical).
I saw an ad in a newspaper (AM New York to be exact) and it says “look good, spend less” an ad for laser treatment and it says buy one get one free with a picture of a man standing tall and macho and a scared woman holding him from behind for protection. So what they are trying to say in other words is that he can come for laser treatment and bring her along for the buy one get one free sale event but my question is why cant she go along with her girlfriends and why does he have to look macho and she look scared just because they are going to get laser treatment.
If the positions of men and women were reversed in these commercial, the message that the advertisers are trying to get across will change since the messages are tied to gender. I have come to the conclusion that men and women are depicted differently in the media. When the audience that is appealed to is a man, usually women are objectified to get the message across however, when the audience that is appealed to is a woman, another woman is just made to appear as though she’s perfect so that the other woman can wonder what is wrong with her and want to fix it by buying the product.

Advertisement analysis

First Commercial
Mr. Clean, magic eraser http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr4kmCLuzwY&feature=related

The gender norm is so loud in this commercial. The typical woman role of cleaning kitchen and scrubbing the mark off of her precious kitchen. Like she has nothing else to adore or admire in her life.
Why does she have to be so covered up and tidy with her attire? She is cleaning. Isn’t she supposed to get a bit dirty because she is CLEANING! Is she looking decent for her husband or his socialistic friends? Why doesn’t she wear a sexy outfit while she is cleaning; because there are no men around whom she would be a display to?
Why does the product have to be named Mr. Clean? Why can’t it be Ms. Clean? After all they are selling it to the ladies. Why does she need that masculine support to help her scrub some stain of? There is no power given to a woman even when she is cleaning because she is not supposed to be powerful even in a place like kitchen. The commercial convey that she doesn’t have the ability to clean alone without a man in back of her. Portraying this supreme power a woman need, as an internal self will power, to complete a task. Also why does she have to look at Mr. clean and nod to get an approval from him that the job is done and also waits to see if he has the same reaction to her performance. She has no self trust that she has completed a task. A woman’s weakness is exploited in this commercial in every aspect.

Second commercial
Lo rel (Paris) Colour Riche anti-aging serum (Not Available)

“My whole face looks young again. Thanks to a lipstick.” She is portrayed so vulnerable that she need some materialistic factor to bring out her beauty. There is no acceptance from the society for older women. She is, apparently, supposed to hide her age in every way possible. Women is supposed to be perfect and evergreen like there no such thing as old age that exist in this society. The model in this commercial is Linda Evangelista and she is representing all the old ladies whom she is selling hope to. She is trying to tell them that being old is not good and on top of that it’s a crime to look old so its about time every old women should stop this crime. This is how the crime should be stopped by renewing themselves for the society. She is wearing this outrageous red color overly sexy dress for her age. She has short and perfect lined hair, which is only done through graphic arts. She has her eyebrow drawn perfectly. She has an eye-lift done but I am not very clear if she has a face-lift surgically done or not, but something is screaming louder then it should be.
The logo is ‘younger lips look rejuvenating.’ Why does she need younger looking lips? She is wearing such a vibrant color which clearly doesn’t indicate that she is a widow and looking for men. Then what could she possibly do with a rejuvenating lip? She is looking for sex and she could only posses her lips to do nothing but utilize in a sexual manner. She says “you are worth it.” What does this mean? Its worth being young externally even though you know you can never be young physically. Does she mean that its worth having random sex at a late age where you will face physical limitations and less sexual urges? I am trying to understand the irony behind this statement. So clearly women are not accepted in the society being in their late age, at least not feature wise and this is the message the commercial is delivering to all the old ladies.
Women are not given any credit for their knowledge. Their hard work and degrees are not considered as a achievement in this society. They are almost on the same stand with the men in today’s world. A woman’s education is not counted and she is not respectfully presented in that manner in the society.

Third commercial
White strips (teeth whitening) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p_UrwjS6LI

Majority of these white strip commercial’s models are female. Like women is filled with flaws or at least that’s what the media wants society to believe. These problems need to be corrected before they step into the society so they could appear as a Barbie doll image. Though there was an experiment done where it was stated as a fact that there are no such thing as a Barbie doll body or image because its too perfect and human are built with flaws. This image is absolutely impossible yet cherished in our society. Specifically it applies to the women because they are supposed to serve themselves to these mankind. It is not mentioned in the commercial, extensively, that whiting teeth should be attempted for proper hygiene. It is more referred to as impressing others. When the commercial does mention about hygiene, because eventually that’s what the commercial is initially for, why does there have to be a catch for men? Why does every advertisement have to convey a message related to sex or sensuality? Isn’t there any self-respect for human? Its almost like human have no other ultimate goal in their life besides being a showcase for others.
The commercial conveys a message that she could perfect her teeth with these strips. So she could have the perfect smile. Then she appears with few of her friends and there is always going to be a guy who is going to fall in love with her for her made up perfect teeth. Not because he likes her for who she is but for her materialistic factors. What for? Just because she have perfect white teeth, which is not true, will give her a fake will power that she is perfect now. My dentist once told me that everyone have their individual teeth color and no matter how much you use these strips there is never a satisfying solution.

All these three commercials speaks one thing, women are weak and they are always an image for men. All three commercial delivers the message that there is only one ultimate goal for every women and that is to impress men. Why? Because they have the power, status and because of them a women would be labeled in the society so they are a necessity in a women life. There are no indication that a woman is needed in a man’s life for her contribution. She is supposed to be either a perfect home care taker or she is supposed to be this sexy meow or she is supposed to be sweet and innocent with a hint of sexual signals. Then the society wants to blame women by saying, “She wanted it” or “She asked for it” when she is ready to deliver herself the way a man wants. There is a huge class and gender difference. Due to a gender difference the status automatically comes into play. Ultimately because every men in the society holds a status not the women.
If there is a reverse position of men and women in these commercials then the message would be different. Then it would be all about how these men are weak and they are not even considered a true man. They will be looked down upon. They will not be indicated as the ideal men in every women life.
Men is portrayed as someone women should be dependent on. They are proud and over powering. It doesn’t matter how they are presented. In one commercial they have a comic appearance, and in the second commercial there are no appearance of a man but there is a male voice which is powerful. If the commercial is about lipstick and rejuvenating a woman then why is it conveyed in a male voice. How does he know her feelings? What could he possibly know that a woman doesn’t and that’s why it was more important for a male to be like her inner voice?
Women, in media are portrayed as vulnerable, innocent, sexy and sex hungry, no class waiting for men to bring some class to them, sags. They are no use to the society and they are only there as a physical stimuli for men. Where as a ‘MAN’ is the power, authority, the sole person you should impress because they are going to make your life, filled with wealth, status and class. These are the typical stereotypes that women and men both face in today’s society. They are unavoidable but there are revolution which is gradual.

Advertising Analysis

These three commercials that I chose are just few of the many commercials out their exploiting female sexuality. These commercials go into the minds of young girls and make them feel that this is what it is to be a woman. These behaviors, actions, and outer looks are inescapable and seen everywhere in the subway on your way to work or school, looking through a magazine, on top of a passing cab, or at home while enjoying your favorite show. Women in these advertisements are view at being a sex symbol. In the Victoria’s Secret commercial the main focus is what is sexy and throughout the commercial they show “sexy” through the lingerie. Watching a commercial like this would make you want to go out and purchase this brand of lingerie because only then you would feel like you’re sexy. In the second commercial for shaving cream it goes back and forth from cleaned shaved skinny legs to one with nicks and cuts covered by Band-Aids the commercial emphasizes the importance of having a clean appearance. In the final commercial if you didn’t know better you would think that they are selling something else. The Herbal Essence commercial is shown depicting this lady having an organism from her shampoo the company primarily uses sex to sell this product. Men aren’t depicted in any of the commercials but the message that they send out to men especially the VS commercial is that is what you want your woman to look and be like. When it comes to commercials in general it is very hard to find commercials that air regularly with African American women in it. I reminded the VS commercial in hopes of spotting Tyra Banks or Naomi Campbell who have graced the VS catwalk but never a commercial. This shows that they only try to depict one race of woman as being “sexy”. The only interaction of men and women is in the Herbal Essences and her sexuality is used to the fullest she is seen naked in the shower and she begins to orgasm from the shampoo which is a very intimate and private experience but for purposes of getting ones attention this is the extent that they go. Women will always be depicted in the media as being a sex object I don’t think that will be changing anytime soon. This image of women will always make regular woman think they have standards to live up to but it’s up to us the everyday woman to break these ideas and make the changes.

-Janaine

The meaning of difference by Oluwatoyin Mabadeje

THOUGHT PIECE.......
Stereotypes are "over generalized beliefs about people based on their membership in one of many social categories" (Anselmi and Law 1998, p. 195). For example, men are more likely to be perceived as aggressive and competitive, women are more likely to be viewed as passive and cooperative. Traditionally, men have been viewed as financial providers, whereas women have been viewed as caretakers.Are there really difference between men and women and if there are, what can we do about them in order to get rid of sexism in societies? In this chapter about the meaning of difference, Crawford discusses many different stereotypes that some psychologists (the difference tradition) have tried to prove. Some of which are whether or not the female brain and mind were different, inferior, and deficient when compared to the males’. Further the article talks about how the male brain functions. It is believed that the male brain functions better than the female brain when it comes to mathematics, and sciences (i.e. females just can’t do mathematics and science as well as men can). On the other hand, the similarity tradition claims that women and men are very much alike in intelligence, personality, abilities, goals and for this reason, society should treat men and women alike (i.e. there should be no sexism like we see in job discrimination).Take a trait like emotionality for instance. The difference tradition believe that so many emotions, both positive and negative are attributed to women whereas only very few emotions are attributed to men even though it is not necessarily true. Studies show that men and women are equally emotional even though men report less emotionality.

Gender stereotypes can also affect men's and women's performance. Stereotype threat is defined as "an individual's awareness that he or she may be judged by or may self-fulfill negative stereo-types about her or his gender or ethnic group" (Lips 2001, p. 33). When I was reading the article, the meaning of difference, all I could think about was the fact that I also believe these things because of the culture I grew up in. In Nigeria, females are practically raised to feel inferior to males so that they can learn how to be “submissive” mothers and wives. Research indicates that stereo-type threat can negatively affect performance by increasing anxiety.For instance; a girl should not dare to play soccer because it’s a boy’s game and a boy should not be seen cooking or cleaning because it is the job of a girl. These stereotypes have been happening for so many generations and have been taught since birth. For instance, if a woman had a female child, the excitement is not as much as if she had a male child (i.e. the celebration of the birth of the child is bigger if it’s a male child). If a woman gives birth to a female child, the family members of the husband advise him to marry another woman who can give birth to a male child (as if it is a woman who determines the sex of the child). It is strongly believed that male children are better able to carry on the family legacy (i.e. they can run family business and pass on the last name to their children since a woman is expected to lose her last name once she’s married).

advertising analysis

I cut my cable service last year, after I came to the realization that I was watching less TV than it was worth the amount of money I was paying every month. Thus, I had to find an alternative way to watch TV commercials for this assignment. I found them on http://www.online-video.net. The first one I saw is a commercial for Mercedes-Benz. A young, pretty blond walks up to a counter and makes an order of “French fries, burger and a milkshake.” Behind the counter a slightly overweight, dark haired, not as attractive and likely in her thirties female, responds disdainfully, “This is a library.” The blond glances around herself and then turns back and now whispers her order of French fries, burger and milkshake to respect the fact that one has to lower their voice in a library. Then words “Beauty is nothing without brains” are displayed and a new model of a Mercedes-Benz is shown. This commercial is based on the stereotype that pretty women don’t have brains and if a woman does happen to be more intelligent as to be able to be a librarian, then she is of course asexual and unattractive.
Another commercial I watched was for Victoria Secret’s “What’s Sexy” ad. The models that are used for the ad are all very beautiful, young, very skinny and big breasted (which is a paradox in itself; usually stick thin women don’t naturally have large breasts, if not by undergoing surgery). These girls were simulating sex and furthermore I felt that the ad was hinting toward exhibitionism. The models were shown walking (what looked like exterior) with only undergarments under their coats. Is the message that Victoria Secret is trying to send is, that women have to expose their bodies to unsuspecting strangers to get some type of gratification (sexual, social)? I was confused. Of course, there was fast paced music, the models walking rhythmically to the sound, a lot of steam and calculated lighting, to make the whole clip seem so cool. An unwarned watcher would probably feel that to be sexy and cool you have to have that body and that bra. This commercial is typically using the female body as an object, a much sexualized object that has to be exposed on an unhealthy and pervert way. When bombarded with ads like these it is no wonder that a woman would feel insecure about her body, one cannot help but to compare oneself to these standards of beauty. No wonder the raising numbers of young girls suffering of eating disorders and low self esteem. We are fed the wrong kind of imagery and messages.

The third ad I saw is for “Double A,” a printing paper. The setting of the commercial is the photocopy room of some office. There is a professionally dressed and rather good looking guy finishing up some copying, he puts a stack of the advertised paper on a high shelf when a girl walks in. She’s wearing a mini skirt and is young and pretty. They exchange looks when the guy is walking out. Left by herself the girl realizes that there is no more paper in the printer’s tray and attempts to get a stack of “Double A” by kneeling on the photocopier, when accidentally she pushes the button and it starts copying images of her crouch that is located over the printer. That’s the moment when the guy walks back in, he had realized on his way out that he had forgotten something. He is looking on shocked while the printer is non-stop spitting more copies of the girl's crotch, while she is still staying in the compromising position, her back toward him while still kneeling on the machine. Then a male authoritative voice reminds the viewer, “Double a paper, double quality paper.” In this commercial the woman is depicted as not very bright, not familiar with technologies, promiscuous and with derogatory role in an office setting, while the guy is looking more professional and in control. He is shocked with the girl’s demeanor. This imagery reminded me how victims of rape are often blamed to have asked for it, by flaunting their bodies in sexy outfits. The guy was obviously pleased with the sight the girl giving him, but pretended to be shocked by her actions as if he were a saint and never seen such a thing.

All three of these commercials show the woman objectified, as not in control of her own body. Everything she does is to please and attract the look of a male, thus his approval. If people grow up believing that pleasing someone else is the ultimate approval in life. How can these stereotypes controlled by industries dominated by males be ever erased? Michelle

“Why are you going outside? Did you finish cooking for me?” When you hear something like this you or we would automatically think that a husband is asking his wife these questions. We don’t stop to think maybe it could be the other way around. Even if she is a working woman she would still have to cook at home. This is called a gender which, in a patriarchal society, is the norm for a woman.
Even though we are in a fast pace generation we still have gender discrimination. These discriminations are so minimal that it goes unnoticed. Today’s time women don’t even know that they are being discriminated and sometimes men are so prone to act in an specific way that they don’t realize that they are discriminating.
Whenever you hear a man carrying a phone conversation his volume is a bit high pitched and much louder than woman. This portray men as powerful or at least they thing this is what they are illustrating about their being. The status of a man, no matter what their class is would always be above a woman.
One day I was having a political conversation with one of my male colleague at work. After a long debate he laughed and said no wonder there are no female president in America and neither would there be any. I, angrily, asked why not. He said because women go through menstruation time and during that time they go through horrible mood swings. So he stated that during that one week, every month, a female president might destroy the whole world. A reminder to everyone is that a president have a personal advisor whom the president takes majority of his suggestions from. With this benefit every male president have made mistakes in the past then why blame only a female for her actions and accuse her of having a chemical imbalance? What should we think about those president who took some historically horrifying decisions during their period?
A basic thought of every man is that a woman think with emotions. We are emotional which is why our reactivity is so much more relatable. For a man to think and act would be done based on sentiment. I think sentiment sometimes takes the role of an ego. Ego is not necessarily negative until its performed and presented in that manner.
Any society has a set standard rule/norm for how both gender should perform and stay within their sex because it creates less confusion. I wish we were able to do anything but then I also know that anything means no boundaries. Having no limitation could become a negative thing. Only because we don’t know how to balance everything in our live. As long as there is enough respect among the two sexes I think we could have a harmonious society.
But could this be possible? In reality there is no such thing as a harmonious society because no matter what, men are bound to poke women when they rise higher than them. We could always try to make it closer to better but there is no true solution to this matter. The reason is simply because of the nature and nurture that everyone is born and raised with. There is always someone in the family who is old fashion and traditional. For them a patriarchal society is what they are used to and that’s what they will fight for. This is a on going war/battle between men and women. This revolution will never end because to bring justice to every part of life is so vast and it will take multiple lifetime to alter a set standard rule for the up coming generation.
As long as there is respect among the both sexes then we are to say that we are closer to becoming equal.

taking off my face

From the time that I was very little I have always been known as very girly. When given this assignment I began to wonder is this something that I had chosen or was this something that was forced on to me. My mother always instilled in not only myself but my siblings as well that we should always try to look our best and always look presentable. I grew up with a fear that if I didn't look my best I would feel insecure and ashamed about myself. For the assignment I decided to take the way I present myself to the outside world down a notch. Everyday I'm use to wearing makeup, straightening or curling my hair, and making sure that my clothes are ironed. When I woke up Saturday morning I brushed my teeth and proceeded to take a shower once I got out I threw on some over sized sweats and put my hair up in a messy bun. Before I left my bedroom I looked and myself and I felt a bit disgusted without the makeup on looking in the mirror I seen an exaggerated image of myself. I seen the dark circles from not getting enough sleep at night, I seen the marks acne left on my cheeks, without my hair fixed I felt like a mess and with out the clothes I'm use to wearing I felt a overall nakedness. As I proceeded to go down stairs both my mom and sister gave me a odd look it's not like they had never seen me like this but because they were in shock that I was going to go outside looking like I was. Walking around I felt very uncomfortable like I didn't belong. I was hoping that I wouldn't see anyone that I knew because I was ashamed of my appearance. When my boyfriend seen me he was a bit surprised but also happy in a way because he said I looked comfortable and it must be so easy to just throw anything on but in my mind it wasn't it took a lot to let go and try this out. I noticed that as the day went on I felt a little anxiety from this activity and I had to go home and change my clothes only then did I feel comfortable. Reflecting on this I realize that some things need to change and even though it will take time hopefully I will get there one day.

-Janaine

Gender Norm Activity

Gender Norm Activity

Pamela Murillo
September 9, 2009
Gender activity

Gender Activity Behavior

A behavior that I chose to change which is not normative to my gender is the way I sit down. I usually sit with my legs crossed like most girls do, but this time I chose to sit down with my legs open wide, and if I was not physically doing something with my hands, I would put my elbows on my knees while sitting down with my legs wide open. This is a normal behavior for most guys; therefore it is totally acceptable by society seeing a man sitting this way. I practiced this behavior while I was at work, and all my coworkers kept on looking at me in a funny way, some of them asking me if I was ok. I tried to act normal as if I always sit that way, but every women and men thought it was weird and kept looking at me in a strange way.
Doing this made me feel so uncomfortable since I don’t normally sit that way. I did it for a whole day at work, and it was very interesting seeing people’s faces while passing by and seeing me sitting in that position. I guess society is already used to seeing a women sitting with their legs crossed and in a more fashionable manner, so when they see the opposite happening they start to feel uncomfortable.

Gender Norm Activity

*Names used in the following post have been altered very slightly in sake of privacy.

Since the assignment was "gender norm" as opposed to "self norm", the task was pretty easy. I'm the biggest lady dude you'll ever meet. I could walk around in a little dress, heels, and make up, while spitting and burping in public. I have no shame in releasing whatever I have to, to maintain homeostasis haha.

So for the most part, I'm usually hanging out with guys and for class, I experimented on a fairly new group of friends. I always pop a squat whenever the circumstances need me to, but this group hasn't seen it yet. The first time I did it, we were all walking to my soccer mom minivan and I yelled, "Is there anyone around? No? Good. Look out for me." They were all confused and walking towards me. At this point, I already had my pants and undies down, watering the grass. Once they reached me, I was done and they had dumbfounded looks on their faces. One of them, Mikael, said "Did you just pee here? Ew, I'm more ladylike than you." I just giggled.

The second incident was another night, when I took one of them home to Brooklyn and bought Philly Cheese Steaks. Once we reached the neighborhood, I ran in between two cars, pulled Alex and Jack together to block the view from traffic. "Stay there! Wrap your arms around each other! Don't move!" I yelled. Once again, they were confused, and I assumed the position and let it rip. Haha, this time, I splattered and they got my urine on them. I wasn't done, so they had to stay there and they were shrieking like little girls. Eric, who was a good 10 feet away from me walked back and asked, "Did you just pee?" "Yup" "Damn girl I heard that shit from the corner, I thought it was a hose." "Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go." "Good job."

This assignment was fun because I took something I always do, and for the first time, actually analyzed the reactions of those around me. When me and my close girlfriends gotta go together, it's nothing new. We "do as boys do" like compete with duration and quantity, we try to write our names and stuff like that.
-Jeunesse

She's a Man by Oluwatoyin (Grace) Mabadeje

“Girl, are you okay? What are you doing with that jobless loser? Look, if you're having trouble finding a good man I can hook you up"........ These and many more despicable words were the words coming out of my girl friend's mouth because I decided to trade places with my boyfriend. It was the first time my friends were meeting him and boy, was he not the one for me because his behavior towards me was normative for his gender.
Last Saturday, my girlfriends told me that we needed to make time to hang out since we had not seen one another since school started. So we decided to go to the movies with our boyfriends. The last time we saw each other I was the only one who did not have a boyfriend among all of them. But we talked on the phone and I told them about the guy I was talking to who became my boyfriend about a week before we went to the movies. They were all eager to meet him but to their surprise, he appeared to them as if I were his babysitter.
When we got to the movie theater, while their boyfriends held the door for them, I held the door for my boyfriend. When we bought the tickets for the movie, I paid for him and myself. They were shocked but they could not say what they had in mind at that point in time. After the movie, we went out to eat at a local restaurant. Once again, I paid for our food and even pulled out the chair for him to sit down. At this point, my girls could not take it anymore and one of them sarcastically said, “Grace, you‘re such a gentleman I didn’t know your boyfriend was a woman”. I just giggled because I did not want them to know my game plan. One of my friends suggested that we cut the date short because she just could not stand my boyfriend.
When I got home, I had nine missed calls all from my friends. They couldn’t wait to tell me all about how much of a jerk my boyfriend was because I paid for our date. They assumed he did not have a job and that was why I was paying for everything. I had to break it to them that it was just an assignment and that my boyfriend actually gave me the money we spent. We ended up laughing about the whole thing.

"Feminism Is for everybody"

Despite the general muttering of the class how the book is so very repetitive, I personally found it rather revolutionary. It is kind of like Marx’s The Communist Manifesto. Only that instead of “Workers of the world, Unite!” it is more like “Women of all races, classes, religions and sexuality unite into a one strong sisterhood!”
When I was reading this Hooks’ sentence:
We all knew firsthand that we had been socialized as females by patriarchal thinking to see ourselves as inferior to men, to see ourselves as always and only in competition with one another for patriarchal approval, to look upon each other with jealousy, fear, and hatred.
I became aware that this type of stingy sentiments and behaviors are the lot of the dominated. I was reminded how my grandmother and mother pitied the comportment of their compatriots, who were busy harming and jealousing their neighbors’ success. They would only compete against each other, instead of the foreigners that were in reality exploiting them. Only now I understand that these people were socialized in such way, so that their collective spirit was completely destroyed. This is a sad thing to become aware of, but there are multiple levels of insecurities and deep ingrained misguided beliefs that occurred through wrongful socialization, and which keep on getting more pilled up with each additional matrix of domination. We truly need to change the whole system our society is based on. Maybe the thing to start the change with is something we give immense importance to, money and capitalism. Without wanting to sound socialist or anything, I feel that in this society we don’t have time to be kind or caring, because we are busy making money to survive or just to collect as much as wee can. We just don’t have time to stop and look around; we are constantly in a race against one-an-other.
This book is good not only for the feminist cause, but also to eliminate colonialist spirit of exploitation, racism and social injustice, and it calls people to lead lives of more mutual care and understanding. I really liked it. Michelle

gender norm

Since I had some free time on my hands, this Labor Day morning, I called up a friend and asked her if she wanted to join me and my daughter to a trip to the Central Park Zoo. It appeared to me as a good opportunity to try out that gender norm activity assignment. I remembered that one of the female gender norms I was constantly nagged with while growing up, and which always seemed to be so unreachably eluding and painstakingly difficult to attain, the one that claims that women are supposed to be sweet, graceful and nurturing. I could challenge this stereotype with some added exaggeration and embellishments, and at the same time try to forget that I am often lacking these expected feminine traits, which is pretty much on a daily basis. So I put my most “manly” looking pair of pants and a rather large t-shirt. No makeup of course, and we were ready to set off to the park. The exterior had to match the inner convictions. To avoid any unnecessary misunderstandings I decided to avoid keeping my intentions secret from my friend. I made her aware that I was going to behave in an authoritarian manner, and she only had to go along with it. I was going to be the undisputable boss this day. Since we are in New York I was sure that people were going to be unsurprised to this kind of extravagant displays of strange behaviors. So… despite the fact that no one seemed to be raising their eyebrows I was feeling as if I was doing something criminal, as if I was a fraud. I was pretty much sure too, that the old lady sitting across of us in the subway was thinking we were a lesbian couple which came by a child in some doubtful manner. I guess in general peoples’ reactions and responses to us were rather nonchalant and non-involving. It was rather the way I was judging myself that made me think that it was me, who despite my perceived openness of mind, was still looking through a lens of gender socialization. It was I who judged women, sometimes correctly, sometimes wrongly to be more feminine or more masculine, but kind of always within the norms of this society. If I had seen a couple of females, in a similar situation I was trying to replicate, and one of them was more feminine and the other had been displaying masculine characteristics I would have most probably speculated similarly like the lady in the subway that we must be a couple. Furthermore, without being able to restrain myself, I would have broken my head trying to figure out how this unconventional couple came to have a child. On whether it was adopted or conceived by either of one of the women. It was a lesson for me to be aware of stereotypes and preconceived ideas that might quietly sneak up into our minds by the unformulated radiations of social norms.
Dolgoon (Michelle)

Gender Norm

I always had a conflict with the word gender norm. Is their any true gender norm in today’s world? Isn’t sex enough to make a distinction among the two type of human being? Why is it that we have to have a significant gender role?

I was never in my gender norm because I have always been a tomboy. Since as far as I recall, my school memory, I have had pants and shirts on all the time. During my junior high to high school period I was a complete tomboy.

I still don’t understand how men could be so different than women by their gender!

When I started to wear skirt and blouse I received comments like, “Now she looks like a woman,” or “Now finally she is a she.” My reaction was something like I have always been a woman. When I wore pants and shirts I was a woman and when I started to wear skirt and blouse I am still a woman. I don’t think a woman could get more woman than what she is biologically born with.

This weekend I put on a dress and some makeup and went to hangout with my friends. Their reaction was, “nice Saima, you are looking nice.” I said, “Thanks ladies,” but in the back of my mind I knew what they were really commenting on. They really wanted to say, “Girl you look like a woman.” I think the image, of an ideal gender norm, for a woman is to catch a good man whose slave she will become later in life.
I enjoy wearing a dress as much as wearing pants. I usually wear pants because I could move around in it more quickly and carelessly. In a dress I would have to be a little gentler with myself. I have to admit that the easy breezy air is something I don’t get when I wear pants but my reactions of wearing a dress is; I guess as the society labels as lady like. For me attire is something that gives me comfort and for that if I am labeled as deviant in the society then let it be. I think that age has passed where a woman would be beneath a man. In today’s time a woman is as equal as a man in every way; unless whatever is our boundary biologically.