Most weddings are done according to the idealized standard that the society sets; the standards of the parents, family members, and even the media. In other words, what will others think about the wedding? This is the result of the commercialization of people’s lives and it affects the decisions people make in that when they make decisions about their wedding, it is really about gaining the approval of the society they are in. When people talk about weddings, they focus too much on the external appearance and how they will impress their guests and others. Also how they will make that day very memorable because it marked the beginning of the rest of their lives.
In Wilson's article, the selling of the American wedding, the reader takes a second look at weddings and how weddings are idealized by the media. When people talk about weddings, it is almost like a fairytale, as if the bride and groom just fell in love and should live happily ever after as long as the wedding is just perfect. What about commitment? What kind of relationship does the couple have and should all relationships result in wedding? If a relationship does result in wedding, should the wedding be about what the society expects of the bride and groom? I find myself thinking about these questions and more when I think about the wedding industry and how they have idealized weddings through the media.
The perfect wedding has become standardized and regulated by the media just as the perfect partner has been dictated by society. It is quite problematic to find that the government also has a hand in the order of intimate relationships. For a country that emphasizes freedom, it is ironic to find that there really isn’t that much freedom because the government practically dictates people’s choices of intimate partners. In the textbook, we learn that marriage is a way that the society regulates private relationships between couples and specifies who marries whom, how old the couple has to be, and how properties should be divided when marriage ends. For instance same sex couples are prohibited from marrying and also, interracial marriage used to be forbidden (Crawford, 2006). So, society dictates the - who part of a relationship, why should they dictate the where when and how your relationship should be?
In the textbook, Crawford also discusses the different varieties of marriage and classifies marriages into three types: traditional, modern, and egalitarian. This division is based on authority, companionship, and shared activities. In a traditional marriage, the husband has greater authority; the wife is a full time housewife that gets no pay, whereas in the modern marriage, the husband is the breadwinner; the wife works to help him out and provide extras.
The egalitarian marriage maintains a ground of equality between husband and wife. This type is becoming more common even though it used to be very rare. I believe that with equality as a requirement in marriage, responsibilities will be equally shared and so one partner does not feel overwhelmed because of having extra responsibilities while the other partner has less. Although it is difficult to be in an egalitarian relationship because the institution of marriage has been organized around gender inequality, it is still possible to manage an egalitarian relationship. To me, egalitarian is the way a relationship should be. That being said, society should not dictate the way a wedding should be.
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