The meaning of difference by Oluwatoyin Mabadeje

THOUGHT PIECE.......
Stereotypes are "over generalized beliefs about people based on their membership in one of many social categories" (Anselmi and Law 1998, p. 195). For example, men are more likely to be perceived as aggressive and competitive, women are more likely to be viewed as passive and cooperative. Traditionally, men have been viewed as financial providers, whereas women have been viewed as caretakers.Are there really difference between men and women and if there are, what can we do about them in order to get rid of sexism in societies? In this chapter about the meaning of difference, Crawford discusses many different stereotypes that some psychologists (the difference tradition) have tried to prove. Some of which are whether or not the female brain and mind were different, inferior, and deficient when compared to the males’. Further the article talks about how the male brain functions. It is believed that the male brain functions better than the female brain when it comes to mathematics, and sciences (i.e. females just can’t do mathematics and science as well as men can). On the other hand, the similarity tradition claims that women and men are very much alike in intelligence, personality, abilities, goals and for this reason, society should treat men and women alike (i.e. there should be no sexism like we see in job discrimination).Take a trait like emotionality for instance. The difference tradition believe that so many emotions, both positive and negative are attributed to women whereas only very few emotions are attributed to men even though it is not necessarily true. Studies show that men and women are equally emotional even though men report less emotionality.

Gender stereotypes can also affect men's and women's performance. Stereotype threat is defined as "an individual's awareness that he or she may be judged by or may self-fulfill negative stereo-types about her or his gender or ethnic group" (Lips 2001, p. 33). When I was reading the article, the meaning of difference, all I could think about was the fact that I also believe these things because of the culture I grew up in. In Nigeria, females are practically raised to feel inferior to males so that they can learn how to be “submissive” mothers and wives. Research indicates that stereo-type threat can negatively affect performance by increasing anxiety.For instance; a girl should not dare to play soccer because it’s a boy’s game and a boy should not be seen cooking or cleaning because it is the job of a girl. These stereotypes have been happening for so many generations and have been taught since birth. For instance, if a woman had a female child, the excitement is not as much as if she had a male child (i.e. the celebration of the birth of the child is bigger if it’s a male child). If a woman gives birth to a female child, the family members of the husband advise him to marry another woman who can give birth to a male child (as if it is a woman who determines the sex of the child). It is strongly believed that male children are better able to carry on the family legacy (i.e. they can run family business and pass on the last name to their children since a woman is expected to lose her last name once she’s married).

She's a Man by Oluwatoyin (Grace) Mabadeje

“Girl, are you okay? What are you doing with that jobless loser? Look, if you're having trouble finding a good man I can hook you up"........ These and many more despicable words were the words coming out of my girl friend's mouth because I decided to trade places with my boyfriend. It was the first time my friends were meeting him and boy, was he not the one for me because his behavior towards me was normative for his gender.
Last Saturday, my girlfriends told me that we needed to make time to hang out since we had not seen one another since school started. So we decided to go to the movies with our boyfriends. The last time we saw each other I was the only one who did not have a boyfriend among all of them. But we talked on the phone and I told them about the guy I was talking to who became my boyfriend about a week before we went to the movies. They were all eager to meet him but to their surprise, he appeared to them as if I were his babysitter.
When we got to the movie theater, while their boyfriends held the door for them, I held the door for my boyfriend. When we bought the tickets for the movie, I paid for him and myself. They were shocked but they could not say what they had in mind at that point in time. After the movie, we went out to eat at a local restaurant. Once again, I paid for our food and even pulled out the chair for him to sit down. At this point, my girls could not take it anymore and one of them sarcastically said, “Grace, you‘re such a gentleman I didn’t know your boyfriend was a woman”. I just giggled because I did not want them to know my game plan. One of my friends suggested that we cut the date short because she just could not stand my boyfriend.
When I got home, I had nine missed calls all from my friends. They couldn’t wait to tell me all about how much of a jerk my boyfriend was because I paid for our date. They assumed he did not have a job and that was why I was paying for everything. I had to break it to them that it was just an assignment and that my boyfriend actually gave me the money we spent. We ended up laughing about the whole thing.